A chance encounter at an underground Blighty restaurant would bring these two flavor adventurers together. Life would tear them apart. It was a well-kept secret that this restaurant dealt in the frowned upon culinary arts. So, of course Lord Nut had to try it. He entered through a secret door using the password that of course we can't tell you. He stepped into the light, threw back his cloak and announced in a proud, defiant voice, "Pardon me, I'm looking for real flavor and I hear this is the place."

A sultry voice emerged from the shadows, "Try the Bloody Mary, it has a kick, just like me. But, only if you think you can handle it, which I doubt."

"Show your face," Lord Nut shouted. "I welcome a true flavor challenge and would love to see who doubts me."

Rebel Mary stepped from the shadows - they both knew instantly they were meant for each other. The perfect ingredients for a spicy relationship, and a true love affair was born. In fact, it was Mary who inspired Lord Nut to start the Taste Resistance.

But as all fiery things go, they can only last so long before they burn out of control. One morning Lord Nut woke to find a letter on his pillow - it was from Mary. She declared her undying love for him but that she was
leaving for even blander lands to follow her calling and free the flavor oppressed. She signed it with a kiss and her final words - "Viva la revolution!"

It was a heartbroken Nut who left for the new world and flavor greatness. But don't feel too bad for our dear Levington. Once a year he receives a special package; always something tasty and sealed with a kiss to let him know that his Rebel Mary is out there - hot, spicy and totally his.

Legend has it that El Cheddarales came upon a beautiful village after suffering great heartbreak at the hands of a fiery beauty. Broken and looking for a way to breathe flavor back into his life, he chose the village for its bold cuisine and spice of life. He thought he had found the perfect place to mend his aching heart. Under the assumed name Sr. Cacahuete, he began his life as a quiet, wealthy landowner.

But this peace was short lived. One warm August day, the ruthless General, El Desabrido, and his men happened upon the village. As was accustomed, the villagers offered the General a tasty meal - a cheesy dish made with a flavorful local pepper - the Jalepeno. Travelers came from miles around to sample the native cuisine, so it was with great pride that the people presented the General with this meal. Due to his inability to enjoy even the mildest of peppers, the General felt he was being publicly humiliated and vowed to make the village suffer for their obvious disrespect.

The General and his troops enslaved the village and a ban was placed on all spicy food. All peppers were to be confiscated and any villager found harboring the fiery delicacy would be imprisoned. The peaceful people were no match for the General - except for El Cheddarales. This was just the thing he needed to breathe life back into his broken heart. He vowed to free the oppressed village and true taste.

By day, he observed the General and his troops as the unassuming Sr. Cacahuete. But at night he raided the storage rooms, liberating spicy ingredients and giving taste back to the villagers. Each night he would take back a little more, leaving his irreverent calling sign - a swordsman's mark in the shape of a cheese wedge to honor the spicy local dish. Every morning the General woke to find more of the banned pepper missing and more villagers smiling.

As the legend goes, after many spicy spiked meals, the teary eyed General fled with his flavorless tail between his legs, unable to stop the nightly raids and bested by the people's hero - El Cheddarales. And while his true identity still remains a secret, in some intellectual circles it is thought that El Cheddarales was none other than the famous flavor adventurer, Lord Nut. This is of course unprovable. But his swagger, style and flare for taste lead many to believe it to be true.

It was known as the land of opportunity - vibrant, full of flavor and the spice of life - The Big Apple. The streets were thought to be paved in gold and immigrants flooded to her welcoming shores. After braving oceans both wide and deep, Lord Nut found himself in this tasty melting pot.

Upon his arrival in this bold new world, Lord Nut earned a spot in the heart and home of Mamma Sofia - a true Italian matriarch and keeper of a boarding house. Her love of life was only surpassed by her love of food. It was in her home that Nut discovered the sumptuousness that is Italian cuisine and mended his broken heart by saving someone else's.

The beauty of Mamma's granddaughter, Lucia, was known throughout the five boroughs. And while chased by multiple suitors at all times, Lucia's heart was already spoken for. While visiting the local market to get the juicy tomatoes, fresh herbs and delicious cheeses necessary for Mamma's secret sauce, Lucia caught the eye of Fredo Salducci, son of one of a rival Italian families. It had been love at first sight. From that day forward, they met in secret, whispering sweet nothings and promises of a future that both knew
couldn't exist.

One night, while satisfying a hankering for Chinese food, Lord Nut happened upon the two lovebirds. Caught red handed, they begged Nut to keep their secret. Touched by their innocent love and having a soft spot in his heart for the star crossed due to personal experience, Nut vowed to not only keep their secret but to help them.

But, Fredo's brother Mario also had a craving for Chinese that evening and witnessed the couple walking hand in hand down the street. Completely enraged, it was obvious to Mario that this jezebel had bewitched Fredo and he vowed to put a stop to this unacceptable match.

It was a rowdy, Salducci crowd that burst through the door of Mamma Sofia's home - demanding that an end be put to Fredo and Lucia's relationship. It was dinner time and Mamma had invited the whole family over for some pasta and her secret sauce.  Mamma stood up at the head of the table and demanded to know what the purpose of this interruption was. Before you could say "parmigiano," one of the Salducci's grabbed a handful of pasta and flung it at Mamma - It was on, the food fight to end all food fights erupted.

Secret sauce, fresh mozzarella and pasta flew through the air, peppering everyone in flavor goodness. And just as the fight reached a real frenzy, a clear voice rang out over the crowd.

"Mamma Mia!" exclaimed Lucia, who had just entered with Fredo and Lord Nut, as Mamma Sofia got ready to hurl another handful of pasta.

Everyone paused, the air dead calm. It was at this moment that Lord Nut made his stand. He implored the crowd to listen to a tale of a love that burned so bright and of its tragic end - it was his own story of his love for Rebel Mary. He plead on the couple's behalf, begging for their family's support. His prose were so masterful that there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

The families vowed to put their differences aside and support Lucia and Fredo's love.  A few months later Fredo and Lucia were married. Lord Nut was of course the best man, as he always was and the families kept their vow of support - that is until the first grandchild was brought into this world. Apparently there was so much discussion over what the babies last name would be that they offered the decision up to Lord Nut, who simply invented the hyphenated last name, with the families agreeing to rotate who's last name got to be first on an annual basis. The problem was solved without a single ounce of sauce being thrown.

There exists a land of such beauty that they say it almost hurts the eyes.Where foods are as exotic as the beasts that roam the jungles. After a storm to rival the wrath of the Gods, Lord Nut found himself shipwrecked on this magical place.

After floating in the ocean for nearly three weeks, surviving on rain water and the kindness of dolphins and sea turtles, Lord Nut's seemingly lifeless body washed up on the shores of Thailand. A group of native women were taking their daily beach break when they happened upon the incapacitated Nut. He was quite a sight to see in his tattered Blighty finery.

A discussion broke out immediately as to what was to be done with Lord Nut. Some of the women thought he should be thrown back into the ocean from whence he came. A few thought they should leave him on the beach, he was obviously none of their business. Fortunately for Nut, the majority thought they should tend to his wounds and nurse him back to health.

During the elephant ride back to their village, Lord Nut drifted in and out of consciousness, catching glimpses of exotic beauties and lush surroundings. At times he thought he must have died and gone to heaven and others he was convinced that he was being carried away by a leather covered demon - he had never seen, or ridden an elephant before. Upon arrival at the village, Lord Nut's fate was again put to a vote. Overwhelmingly the kind Thai people voted to mend him.

The village elders took turns vigilantly watching over Nut. The women would treat his wounds daily, and nurse him back to health with a special Thai recipe - a flavorful lemongrass curry. Thai legend states that the spicy flavor was thought to cure just about any ailment with its intense seasoning. Even in his comatose state, Lord Nut took to this culinary medicine - starving for real flavor.

After a fortnight of feverish dreams and demented nightmares, Lord Nut blinked his eyes and came to, surrounded by the native Thai people who had taken such great care of a perfect stranger from a foreign land. He was overwhelmed by the beauty that was Thailand - the people, the land, and of course, the cuisine.

The Lord had no idea how he was going to repay these wonderful people for saving his life, and he vowed one day he would be able to thank them properly. The Thai people simply said it was not necessary, and as a final act of kindness, bestowed upon Lord Nut a sea worthy vessel to help him on his journey to the new land.

As the Lord pushed off from the radiant Thai shore he was even more excited about the special gift the villagers had stored under the bow of the boat - stores of lemongrass curry to aid him on his journey.

Come one, come all and hear a tale of trickery and deceit - Dr. Mortimer Wormtongue, the snake oil medicine man, is in town. Of ill repute and bland expression, this peddler of supposed cure alls and possible magical elixirs deals in treachery the likes of which are only heard of in legends.

Once Lord Nut had learned all the culinary delights that the big Apple had to teach him he decided to set off on a cross country trip in search of pure flavor. After he acquired a noble steed and wagon, he set off to obtain the one that had eluded him thus far - the perfect end to the perfect meal.

He traveled far and wide, sampling sweet fare from across the nation. And it was in a small Washington town where he found his culinary prize. For five states he had been hearing about a flaky, pastry creation made by Granny Smith. And as he pulled into the small Northwest town of Appleton, an amazing aroma filled the air. It was the smell of hot apple pie coming out of Granny’s oven.

The Lord quickly found the source of the smell and begged Granny to let him try her aromatic delight. She obliged, and over a slice of the delectable dessert she told Nut about the other stranger who had recently come to town – the snake oil medicine man. Granny told Nut how she had purchased a special elixir from the man having heard it was the cure for bland-itis, something she wasn’t sure she suffered from, but was sure she didn’t want to have.  It had been very expensive and she wasn’t sure how she was going to make the rent.

As Nut listened to her story he grew more and more enraged. He had heard of these traveling shysters who swindled little old ladies and nice townsfolk out of their money.  He also knew the only real cure for bland-itis was amazing flavors and he made a vow in his head to save this town from the Charlatan that had come to suck them dry. He asked Granny where he could find the medicine man. She was only too happy to take him to the peddler’s wagon.

As they neared the wagon, Nut could see the long line of people waiting to give their hard earned money to this crook. He could hear the medicine man hocking his wares, claiming to have the cure for the most foul of afflictions – bland-itis.

A clear voice rang out from the crowd as Nut addressed the faux healer, “You sir, are a charlatan and a thief. The unsuspecting good people may not know it, but you and I both know the only cure for bland-itis is real flavor."

Dr. Mortimer Wormtongue slinked down from his wagon, a weasely looking little man who was immediately dwarfed by Nut’s personage.

“In fact,” said Nut, “Let’s put your cure all to the test against my treatment and let the people decide.”

The medicine man paused for a moment, knowing he had been caught. But, since he knew nothing of the greatness of Lord Nut he decided to roll the dice and accepted the challenge.

One of the townsfolk claiming to have Bland-itis was selected from the crowd. The medicine man went first. He spun a tale of intrigue and wonder, claiming that his magic elixir was from a land where there was no sky and the ground was made of cheese. The selected townie was more than willing to drink the spoonful of magic when the Medicine man finally finished with his yarn.

She claimed that the elixir made her feel better and that surely Lord Nut didn’t know what he was talking about. Nut simply stated “Granny, would you mind fetching me a slice of your delicious pie?” Granny was happy to help and brought the delectable dessert to the Lord.

With no story or buildup, Lord Nut handed a heaping spoonful of the still warm pie to the selected tester, saying “It will cure what ails you.”

The smile that started in one corner of the woman’s mouth started to spread almost immediately after eating the sumptuous pie - The townsfolk all waiting for her decree of the winner. She jumped to her feet and her voice rang out. “Without a shadow of a doubt, Granny’s Apple Pie is the real cure for bland-itis!”

The crowd immediately rushed Dr. Mortimer Wormtongue and demanded a refund. After passing out the returned funds, Mortimer was driven out of town by the angry townsfolk.  As his twisted figure disappeared over the horizon he vowed to get his revenge on Lord Nut - but Nut wasn't too concerned. And the story of Granny Smith’s apple healing power was started. In fact, this is where the age-old statement of “An apple a day keeps the Dr. away” came from.

In a place known for its delicious smoke house BBQ, one restaurant was the best loved by people far and wide. Frequented by every man, woman, and child in the octo-county area, Miss Keet’s Smokin’ Eats Restaurant never had an empty seat or a clean napkin. Miss Keet’s was as famous for its smoked BBQ sauce as it was for the house rules:
1 - No silverware allowed!
2 - No napkins will be provided till you finish your plate!
3 - Make sure you give Miss Keet a kiss before you leave (but after you clean your face).

Miss Keet and her smoked BBQ sauce used to win the Great Southern BBQ Cook-Off every year. But that was years ago. You see, on the day of the 45th annual Cook-Off, Ray John and Kay John, a pair of unknown chefs from deep in the bayou, arrived for the cook-off and dazzled the crowd with their spicy spin on the traditional BBQ flavor. Ray and Kay won every judge’s vote, and took home the trophy that had erstwhile been prominently displayed at Miss Keet’s Smokin’ Eats Restaurant. To say that Miss Keet was disappointed after her loss would be putting it lightly. But then, Ray and Kay decided to move into town and open up a restaurant right down the street from Miss Keet’s. Her waitstaff all left to work at the newly popular Bayou BBQ Bistro, and her regular customers followed. Suffering a crisis of confidence, she spent her days above the vacant restaurant with not a soul for company but her old mutt, Bones. She wondered if she could ever cook championship BBQ again.

Years later, Lord Nut was traveling the South seeking to learn the art of using smoke to flavor food. One night on a road well off the beaten path, he was experimenting with some smoke-making techniques while making dinner at the same time. Before you could say “fully involved,” there was nothing left of the wagon but a few metal spokes and one hinge. Homeless and lost, Lord Nut trudged into the nearest town and came to a stop outside Miss Keet’s defunct restaurant. There was a faded and worn “Open” sign hanging upside-down in the window. He knocked on the door. An aging, kindly looking woman opened it and he said, “Kind Madame, could you spare shelter for a questing culinarian?” He was road weary, hungry, and covered in soot, but in the blink of an eye Miss Keet had him cleaned up and settled into a cozy room. When he arrived back downstairs, there was a steaming plate piled high with Miss Keet’s delicious, formerly famous eats. She invited him to make very liberal use of the special sauce, which came from a secret family recipe.

Miss Keet and poor old Bones were so delighted to have company that they stayed up late into the night chatting. She even told Lord Nut the story of Ray and Kay John and the events that had changed her establishment from the place pictured in the happy photographs still hanging on the wall to the place it was today. The restaurant had been closed since the day of the 45th annual cook-off. She cut a sorry figure. Lord Nut agreed that her sauce was good—quite satisfying indeed, but it just needed a certain something… Our culinary hero, always game for an aliment adventure, vowed to help his sweet hostess figure out what that certain something was.

For the next week, Lord Nut and Miss Keet could be found in the kitchen whipping up all kinds of saucy concoctions. They opened up the trunk full of spices that Lord Nut had collected during his extensive voyages. They tried a tamarind BBQ, a jalapeno BBQ, a mustard BBQ, and a garlic BBQ. The results were interesting, but not exactly what they were looking for. Worn out, and with goo from a recent cayenne sauce explosion dripping from their faces, they sat down to have a snack. Bones was sniffing around, eager to get in on the snacking action. The old mutt caught the scent of something and made a beeline for Lord Nut’s old traveling cloak that was draped over a chair in the corner. He sniffed and burrowed for a while, then emerged victorious with a small packet between his teeth.

“Why, what in heavens is this?” asked Miss Keet. Lord Nut explained that it was a packet of dried pineapple. The pineapple was a sweet treat he had discovered in the tropics amid a prickly situation involving a ferocious tribe of tiki-worshipping cannibals and a melon scoop. “This delectable fruit,” he continued… Lord Nut paused. “This delectable fruit! Eureka! Follow me Miss Keet!” He rushed off to the kitchen, dicing the pineapple as he went. Into the vat of simmering sauce went the pineapple. The result was pure magic—sweet smoky tangy perfection.

“A sauce this good must be shared, not just with the county, but with the whole world!” exclaimed Miss Keet, “But we used all of the pineapple in this one batch.”

Lord Nut replied, “There are some in this world who are destined for flavor greatness. If the pineapple cannot come to the BBQ, then the BBQ must go to the pineapple.”

With a new sense of joie de vivre, Miss Keet had Bones and her own trunk of spices packed up in less than an hour. She mounted up and headed the direction of the sunset. Lord Nut gathered his flavor compendium and boarded the next stage coach headed east, continuing the world-wide quest for flavor adventure.